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Thirteen Things You Should Know Before Injuring Yourself

January 19, 2006
Thirteen Things you should know before you smash your right hand in a door

1. Even left-handed people use their right hand a lot.

2. I figured this out only after I had smashed it and it became unusable.

3. Brushing your teeth with the opposite hand you are used to using is very, very difficult.

4. Brushing your hair is also very difficult. See #3.

5. Picking up an 18-pound baby with a bum hand is nearly impossible.

6. Buckling said squirmy baby into a car seat one-handed would make a good Fear Factor challenge. (Your mission: Using only one hand, place infant in carrier, adjust and buckle straps, raise carrying handle and install in car. You must also carry the carrier, with the infant inside, through two doors, including a spring-loaded glass door. Make sure to lock all doors securly behind you. Do not, at any time, allow the infant to squrim out of your grip or out of the car seat and knock his head on a hard surface. You have two minutes.)

7. You can only ice your hand for so long before it starts to lose circulation from the cold.

8. Lumps on your hand can hurt like you wouldn’t believe, but look so unimpressive that you are embarassed to tell anyone about it.

9. Walking dogs while pushing a stroller and nursing a bum hand is not recommended.

10. Hunt-and-peck typing is no fun.

11. It is very frustrating to have an injury that doesn’t look like any injury. You become embarassed to tell people why you aren’t using your hand.

12. If you do decide to injure yourself, make sure it looks really bad. If it does not look bad (ie black and blue) then wrap it in an ace bandage to garner sympathy.

13. Don’t bother busting up your hand. I already did it for you.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Heth permalink
    January 20, 2006 7:15 pm


    Funny about buckling a baby one handed, squirmy babies are hard enough to buckle two handed. I hope it heals quickly.

  2. Jess permalink
    January 21, 2006 5:25 pm

    Oh, hope you feel better soon!

  3. Shannon permalink
    January 22, 2006 1:06 am

    Oh, ouch. Sorry about that!

  4. Daring Young Dad permalink
    January 22, 2006 11:41 pm

    Sorry to hear about your hand.

    BTW, I’m totally with you about the mullet thing. It in no way resembles a mullet to me, either! But it’s not my blog… 🙂

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