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Back in the saddle again

February 10, 2006

My sister called yesterday, and said “Post something on the damn blog already!” I guess I’ve been away too long. I have a lot of things to write about, but I’ve been a little gun shy lately. One of my biggest faults is my inability to handle criticism well. Time and again I’ve let someone’s unkind or thoughtless words destroy my artistic ambitions, instead of just brushing the comments off and going on my own way. I am trying very hard not to do that here. So, that said, I guess it’s time to get back on the old proverbial horse (to mix my metaphors.)

A friend of ours is getting married on the 18th, and I recently received a wonderful email from her. Super-Hubby and I were the first of our friends to get married. In fact, the ink on our college diplomas was practically still wet. Now, three-and-a-half years later, our friends are finally catching up to us. A couple have already gotten married, a few more are planning weddings in 2006. It is really fun to watch everyone walking down the aisle, but it makes me feel old.

Jenn’s email, though, made me feel ever so much better. It’s nice that in a culture where “starter” marriages are de rigueur, Super-Hubby and I trying very hard to redefine what marriage means. It is more than just two people living together and sharing groceries together. It is a daily commitment to love, to honor, to cherish and to support your partner in all things. We do this for ourselves, not for our friends, but it surprised and pleased me that at least one of our friends has noticed.

Jenn wrote:

Watching and hearing about your relationship in college was truly a joy. What you both have is so real, it’s palpable to those around you, and that is what I would like my marriage to do and be–the kind of love that makes those around it also feel loved and loving, one of those oasises in the world where the world makes a bit more sense, feels more right and safe and accepting and understanding. A little window to a world where people accept each other as they are and love and celebrate each other for exactly who they are. I have no illusions that marriage isn’t work, I know it is, but it helps enormously if you can radiate that pure joy of love and dedication that I think you and Mike do. So, thank you for that.

We are so excited to dance at your wedding, Jenn. Many blessings to you and yours.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. February 10, 2006 1:47 pm

    More than one of your friends has noticed–I’m willing to bet lots of us have–but Jenn is awesome for taking the time to tell you. To jump on her bandwagon: I find it inspiring that you and Super-Hubby have literally grown into your adult selves together, that you’ve allowed each other the space to grow and change through what can be very tumultuous years. Your commitment to each other and your marriage is obvious through that. Plus, you both have great senses of humor about your own human foibles, which rocks. On a survey we had to do for our minister recently, those are two things Steve and I both listed as v. v. important. 🙂

    I’m so excited that we’ll get to see you next weekend and catch up in person! Hooray!

  2. February 15, 2006 5:02 pm

    That says a lot about your marriage– what a nice message.

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