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The Boy Who Would be a Vampire

April 7, 2006

Contrary to popular legend, vampires are born, not made.

I know this because I birthed one.

The Tominator has learned how to give wonderful hugs. He makes this pathetic “eh-eh” sound and reaches one hand out to me until I scoop him up off the floor. Then he wraps his chubby arms around my neck and squeezes, a big grin on his face.

Crafty little vampire that he is, he uses his close proximity to my neck to his best advantage: just as I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy from his loving snuggles, he digs his six, sharp, pointy little teeth into my neck.

We have been over the “no biting” thing time and again. He has learned not to bite the toothbrush when I brush his teeth. He has learned not to bite Mommy’s er, feeding apparatuses, at mealtime.

But my neck, oh my neck, it is irresistible.

To be fair, my friend calls Tom “Sunny Baudelaire” from Lemony Snicket, because he is the child who likes to bite things. He bites the dog. He bites the dog’s bone. He gnaws the rail of the pack-n-play I keep in the office. He chews paper.

At just shy of eight months, he can climb the stairs to the second floor. He does this by pushing to a stand, leaning waaaay forward and biting the stair above the one he would like to get to, then pulling himself up using his arms, feet, and teeth. I kid you not.

I can’t wait until he’s old enough to learn to say “I vant to suck your blood!” with a creepy accent.

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. April 7, 2006 1:24 pm

    HILARIOUS! On the whole neck biting thing, could it possibly be a kiss gone wrong? My one year old loves to “kiss” us (read: plant his wide open mouth on whatever surface of our body is closest to him – often our knees). It’s a wet experience and if he’s particularly excited it can be painful too as he’ll bite during the kiss for good measure. I wonder who he’s been watching to think that’s how we kiss. Oh well, at least it’s cute, right?

  2. April 7, 2006 2:40 pm

    Funny! I love the climbing stairs thing.

  3. April 7, 2006 5:28 pm

    LOL! I’m trying to picture your little one climbing the stairs with his teeth. That’s one thing I’ve never heard of before.

    I can relate to the biting, though. I have a biter, too. Lately she is into biting her older sister. Not fun!

  4. Angie permalink
    April 7, 2006 5:30 pm

    ROFL
    I can totally see him craling the stairs with his teefers!!
    WTG tom – WTG!

  5. April 7, 2006 5:30 pm

    Ohmygoodness. That is adorable. Well, not for you. Can you wear turtlenecks all the time? hee hee

  6. April 7, 2006 6:00 pm

    He’ll bite the stairs? Them are some mighty strong vampire teeth!p[[

  7. April 8, 2006 10:56 am

    Hee. This is awesome. You could always dress him in all black and buy him a little cape for Halloween–or just to amuse yourself and take pictures of the great vampire baby.

  8. April 8, 2006 3:22 pm

    How cute! I hope for you that he learns quickly that neck biting is not fun!

  9. Nikkie permalink
    April 8, 2006 3:22 pm

    How cute! I hope for you that he learns quickly that neck biting is not fun!

  10. April 9, 2006 11:56 pm

    He is too cute1

  11. April 10, 2006 2:21 am

    Hopefully by the time he can say it, he won’t be doing it anymore…

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