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September 14, 2006

He used to let me rock him to sleep, so I could catch a faint whiff of lavender when his hair brushed my cheek.

He used to let me rock him to sleep, and I would marvel at the perfection of his hands as his head lolled against my shoulder. We would read Good Night Moon and The Velveteen Rabbit, and somewhere in the middle, about when the Skin Horse is explaining how Nursery Magic works, he would drift off.

He used to let me rock him to sleep, but now he wants to lay down, big-boy style, and toss and turn until he’s perfectly comfortable.

My boy is growing up, and I should have seen it coming, but somehow it snuck up on me. We celebrated his first birthday last month. He decided he’d had enough of the nursing and self-weaned just barely a week later.

He knows more than a dozen baby signs, although clearly spoken words of any variety still elude him.

One day recently we were playing the kiss-kiss game. “Mommy’s gonna kiss you!” I teased, leaning in to give him a smackeroo on the lips. “Mwwwwwwah!”

He laughed. So I did it again. And again. When I went back for a fourth kiss, I was stopped a few inches from his face.

“’Top,” he said, smacking his hands together to let me know that my kisses were no longer welcome. “’Top.”

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Jen Rouse permalink
    September 14, 2006 8:18 pm

    Oh, how bittersweet it is. My firstborn is 2 and getting more grown up by the day. Today she busted out the phrase “Of course not,” when my husband asked her if she was cold. So wonderful, to watch them grow and learn, but it makes you wistful for the baby days.

    Your post reminds me to enjoy my time with Daughter #2 (three months old) instead of despairing about how much work keeping up with everything is.

  2. Thursday permalink
    September 15, 2006 11:09 am

    Yea – I remember so well! You made me cry. And I’m glad jen rouse is realizing that the house work really can wait.

    However, babies – like puppies – grow up and the companionship of adult dogs sure beats puppyhood all to pieces.

  3. Jess permalink
    September 20, 2006 12:17 pm

    Oh, this is so sweet and sad. I imagine that must be one of the most bittersweet parts of being a parent, knowing that your job is basically to prepare your child to be able to handle things on his own.

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